The only guy…

Holed Pistons….

Broken Spindle…

No gas $$$ for a race weekend…

No $$$ for a new life in NC….

Missed opportunies….


Overcoming it alll!


Now..just a bathroom trip is an adventure

They list their stages…none of them list…anger!!!!!

Guess what… are all wrong!!!!!  Never too old to be angry……..

The Essence Master

Even I feel the passage of time, yet I am so old

I am no god, I am a keeper, keeper of the spark

Across the eons some have known me, but very few

Many desperately try to understand my purpose, few can


I travel in ways no mortal could ever comprehend

My existence comes from before time began

When darkness and light were all there was

In little more than the blink of an eye, a purpose given


Are there others?  I am only aware of what I am

I have heard them call me an opportunity seeker

Discerning among the living who should be “aware”

Such shallow minds to think there are some who are not


That only those who choose life’s pedestal have been uniquely gifted

Arrogance like this, I see a billion times across the universe and laugh

Pained when the spark, this gift, is taken for granted by too many

Discarded, as if it means no more than sunsets or breathing


Collecting as I go, leaving none mired in that lifeless void, alone

To exist there, formless, to feel hopeless, forsaken

Sometimes just a few seconds can extinguish the spark, so tragic

There are those; so strong, so bright, they seldom need my help


Floating through the universal ether in search of their own existence

We know each other by name now, it’s good to have friends

Seeking out the next shell to connect to the consciousness network

Always interesting to watch that moment, when the spark comes to life


No, it’s not the same every time, all the more enjoyment for me

And there are times, when it doesn’t work, those I don’t understand

It is such a simple thing, almost like the flipping of a switch

When it refuses my direction, it is certainly essence lost….


Friends 01122015“Do you think anyone notices us here?” He looked at her as if the answer was much too obvious, but he had to ask anyway.  “Why in the world would you ask such a stupid question, they don’t really notice us…they just know we are here.”  She seemed quite pleased with her answer and walked to the edge of the water to rinse a few annoying grains of sand from her toes.    He followed quickly, looking from left to right, you never knew…just in case.  He stared at her feet, well,  not really feet but he liked to think of them like that.  She did the same thing, all the time.  She just couldn’t stand that annoying sand.  He laughed to himself thinking how many times he had tried to get her to stay up in the grass, near the houses, it was nicer there.  But no, she was a beach chick, or so she would say.

She looked over and caught him staring, “don’t say it again, I know what you are going to say…stay in the grass,  you won’t get sand there and have to rinse it out.  Well, you know I don’t like the grass…I’m a beach chick, not a grass chick….you know the difference…..right?   If it bothers you that much,  go up there and strut around with those floozies you’re always gawking at anyway.”    He took half a step back, ” I didn’t say a thing”.   She turned towards him, almost indignant, “yeah, well, you need to decide…beach or grass.  I won’t have you parade around down here when you would rather be up there.  So just make up your mind right now!”

He was so stunned he knew the seconds he waited to answer would only worsen his fate.  “You know, I’ve been on this beach with you for a long time.  Just because I think it’s funny the way you dip your toes,  doesn’t mean I want to change everything.”  But he was talking to the back of her head, she had turned and walked a few steps away, staring blanking down the near empty beach.  So no matter what or who you are, here it is.  He could slowly walk away or suck it up and fly up along the sides of the buildings until he found a nice spot he could call his own.  They’d hatched a lot of eggs together over the years, even when it got cold they would fly together to find a warmer spot until spring.  But maybe she was right, maybe it wasn’t just that one thing.

She had moved further down the beach seemly oblivious to his very existence.  “Fine” he thought to himself, and with a few hearty flaps he was up above the beach, he caught a nice sea breeze and soared up much higher than he normally did.  There from far above as he looked down at all the others, all the buildings, the cars, the people he realized his attention and focus were directed at only one spot of the beach.  There she stood.  She was still so pretty, just like the day they had first met.  That day too, he had seen her from afar.  But something about her had caught his eye.  He swooped down that day, much too quickly, nearly slamming into the ground before regaining his composure to saunter up beside her.  It seemed as if it was only yesterday.

Yet, there she was and he knew there was no place on earth he would rather be.  He circled slowly, watching as she walked and then more slowly this time sailed gently down to be by her side.  He still stumbled in the stiff wet sand but she stopped when he had reached her.   They both turned and looked out towards the ocean enjoying the sunset, feeling the spray and the breeze as it blew.  She walked to the edge of the water to rinse off her toes and he stood there beside her doing the exact same thing.  They looked at each other and smiled, because that’s what friends do.


Jump 01122015

At times it is surely all you can do

The excitement to share great news about you

The anger at knowing some things will not change

Or a hop, for a hope, to a life rearrange

Does anyone care that you act up this way

Strangers might stare but some “friends” look away

Not certain of what they think you might feel

Afraid to believe, their dreams you might steal

Here as the sun warms heads, hearts and hands

A future before you, so cluttered with plans

Not that you care for their feelings too much

Your crisp, bright new future is just out of touch

Push the darkness behind you that mess you don’t need

New steps on a journey, a brave life to seed

Dragging yourself out from this cold winter slump

Up onto the railing to sing, dance and jump…

…to take my leave….

There across the barren plains, a thousand eyes to watch

So much time spent in mindful service and devotion

Now the time for severed ties and unbound promises

To look away to a new horizon, to see possibilities anew


Nothing to say, it might be right or wrong

A nod, a glance or whisper carried on a breeze

Some sign before this point of no return

If only a mind would speak for a heart that will not


Sullen looks and eyes, once so bright, now dark and cold

Do they mirror a heart so afraid of what it might find

Locked away behind memories too painful to set free

Now all prisoners of a past that binds a soul for life


No way to penetrate walls that hide each guarded thought

To take a chance, to seek the sunlight just one more time

Forlorn, this pain that fades each memory into dust

The grasp that held so tightly now not so firm or full


On a field of battle a sword might strike a blow more swift

The torment tears and gnaws at sinew played as harp strings

Braver soldiers, stronger men fought better battles and lost

Here, this field shows only one battle lost before it began


Crushed bodies may drag themselves to find that perfect spot

Perhaps there in the shade, the daylight hidden for just awhile

Tears are never shed in battle. weakness has no home here

They approach, they were served well, a leave, you may take…..

Standing Alone

Standing Alone

I am here now only to mark the way

remember when I was much more than that

the days when nothing got done without me


we conquered a wilderness together you and I

stumps, rocks and mountains were no challenge

handles of oak and poplar came and went

a sharp edge, a firm grip, a confident swing..all I needed


I felt the dews of spring, the biting cold of winter

ground that furrowed easily, sometimes as stone

I never tired of the challenge, the task at hand

a strong grasp was my steely inspiration


that fall day, as if only yesterday

the swing, weaker, the handle the same

I couldn’t tell which shattered first

I waited, but darkness came, what happened?


many years have passed since then

I am guardian here to our frontier

not content, but left,  now unneeded

you pass by and barely smile,

here I stand alone

Soul Pirates

just after dusk in the shadows they wait

patiently hearing each lonely footstep

some nights they pass so early, to quick

other evenings  so late, nothing scares them away


the heartbeats they sense, long before foot fall

deep saddened rasps of tremors and thumps

it is not that song that stirs and awakens

but a mournful soul criying from loss


each one’s been touched a different way

lost love or life or unimaginable worse

in the darkness listen each tale they will tell

their design not to choose,  long here not to dwell


they see not a face, a color, a gender

the task simply strike while the iron is hot

to sear with indifference, no caring, compassion

to rip out the life before hopes spark returns


the painful affliction seems more of the same

just heartache renewed,  each stranded memory

but something is different, now stronger and sharper

near the pit of their stomach a spot now lies dark


off and away they’re done in that instant

the unknowing corpse still yet to collapse

the essence that was them snatched between breaths

the beauty that’s left is the pain that is gone